Question by Matt:
I fear bed bugs eating me in the middle of the night?
Where can I learn their language so I can ask them not to?
Best answer:
Answer by Dabamash
Well, first my friend, you must travel to the far mountains in the east. There you will meet a man (he will have one eye and be dressed as a kinda homosexual pirate). This man will give you a sacred scroll, containing instructions for the rest of your journey.
Once you have crossed the perilous seas and firey mountains, you will come upon a cave.
Within that cave will be the answer you seek…
Use your new found knowledge with care my friend, because only the most strong willed of people can resist the urges of the bed bug empire.
God speed.
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Take a bath so they will not want to eat your body lice.