Question by Hall of Skulls 9:
Since bedbugs are around today, who on Noah’s ark had them?
Best answer:
Answer by Solly Llama NOR★CAL R&S
“Shem was full of hookworms.”
The microbes were by far the most important part of the Ark’s cargo, and the part the Creator was most anxious about and most infatuated with. They had to have good nourishment and pleasant accommodations. There were typhoid germs, and cholera germs, and hydrophobia germs, and lockjaw germs, and consumption germs, and black-plague germs, and some hundreds of other aristocrats, specially precious creations, golden bearers of God’s love to man, blessed gifts of the infatuated Father to his children — all of which had to be sumptuously housed and richly entertained; these were located in the choicest places the interiors of the Family could furnish: in the lungs, in the heart, in the brain, in the kidneys, in the blood, in the guts. In the guts particularly. The great intestine was the favorite resort. There they gathered, by countless billions, and worked, and fed, and squirmed, and sang hymns of praise and thanksgiving; and at night when it was quiet you could hear the soft murmur of it. The large intestine was in effect their heaven. They stuffed it solid; they made it as rigid as a coil of gaspipe. They took pride in this. Their principal hymn made gratified reference to it:
Constipation, O Constipation,
The Joyful sound proclaim
Till man’s remotest entrail
Shall praise its Maker’s name
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
as evolutionist you don’t worry about them they have been evolved from monkey dump.
Noah THOUGHT he did but it turns out the old booze-hound was suffering from the DTs.
Noah picked up the crabs on shore leave
And, they must have had all the other parasites and diseases now known to humankind — like STDs.
The story of Noah’s flood is one of the sillier and more horrible stories of all the myths in the Bible. Almost everybody and everything DIES!
I find it astounding and disturbing that supposedly intelligent people can believe such a stupid story. It illustrates the power that religion has over people.
Well they all had stds as they all kept sex in the family in the bible , cousin ,sister ,aunt ,daughter if it moves get it pregnant , they crawled with disease just like the christians still do.
Like science and reason, bedbugs were an invention of Beelzebub.